ROLLOUT EAST 2 WEST

white lightning is packed. i shall now leave the concrete jungle and head west.

is everybody in?

"i have many things planned"

hello! meow! a lot has gone one since i left the west coast. i worked my way up the east coast, seeing close friends all the way.

the final city route went like this: los angeles - los olivos - berkeley - san francisco - seattle - portland - charlottesville - nyc - hartford - boston - portland - searsmont (town, not a city).
i saw a lot of places and things i hadn't seen before. saw some friends i hadn't seen for a while, seeing more and more as i got closer to maine and portland. that city still feels like home for me, not in any small part due to the fine, fine folks that live there.
while on a train from virginia to new york city i became friends with a nice young woman who was headed to the city as well. we told many stories, had many thoughts and many laughs. when Nealin was in college she told me that she went on a kick of accepting date invitations to whoever offered. one one such date, upon meeting the gentleman she asked what he wanted to do and he replied, "i have many things planned." an interesting beginning to a date i suppose but also somewhat appropriate for the conversations we shared and also this little thing called life.
i have many things planned.
the last time i wrote i did not know what was next. now i do. what's next? the 4UR Ranch! i was offered a position as a Fishing Guide for the summer on the ranch. i'm pumped. all this fishing i've been doing here and there i'll put to use on Goose Creek and the Rio Grande this summer. in regards to angling, i strongly believe that the more and varied angling one does makes them a better angler. i have done a good amount of angling for a fairly wide range of species. it'll be a whole new ballgame in SW Colorado this summer. it will be challenging. but i am up for this challenge. much more on this to come...
White Lightning is packed and awaits me outside Captain Lane's apartment here in Arlington, MA. i'm off to Brooklyn and the big apple here shortly and then the rig turns west where the next stop will be Denver. unfortunately i'll have to ride hard to make time to Colorado, but that's what it is. at any rate, i will be updating the blog more often this summer.
i've heard from a fair amount of people that they have enjoyed following this here web log while i was down under. i very much appreciate all your kind words. i hope you can keep reading while the freedom continues to be sought. i also encourage you to make comments on the posts - questions you'd like answered, things you'd like to see pictures of or just a "hell yea!"
one of the many things i have learned since departing Maine last October is that i love my friends. i am truly blessed with a cast of unbelievable characters that make up my group of friends and i would be lost without them. countless couches i have slept on, countless drinks shared and and even less countable number laughs shared. thank you everyone. i love you all.
i had a lunch date with my grandmother while at home and at one point she asked me, "so jess have you found any place better to live than Maine?" i thought about the question for just a moment and while my response is true i guess i hadn't really said it to myself before. "not yet, grandma," i said, "not yet."
the above fish, a fine St. George brown trout specimen, took 7 fly changes before rising to my fly. the harder the fish, the better it feels to catch 'em.

itchy feet

the eastward plane leaves in less than ten hours. i'm excited.

i took a little cruise northward. everything i saw i had never seen before. except for some of the people; i had seen some of them before. but not for a while, so that was nice. i made some new friends too.
i went to seattle. i had a look around. i had fun there. i got on a big boat and stood on the bow, my face in the wind. it brought back memories or trips to diamond and peaks islands and also memories of early mornings aboard the Offshore Investment. i breathed salty air deep. and smiled.
i went to portland. i had a look around. i made some new friends and ate some great food. i got lost downtown and then got found. after a six-month search, i finally got my hands on an appropriately-priced, used copy of The Old Man and The Sea. i gave it some more use.

thanks to Jake & Jen and Brooke & Stella for rides. thanks to Kyle for breakfast and laughs. thanks to MB, Sarah and Hero for their couch and fine vegetarian cuisine. many,many thanks to Bob and Barbara for the massive bed, food, beers and the amazing tour. thanks to Pete for beers, laughs, early morning transportation and semi-dysfunctional Starbucks conversation. i hope to see you all soon!
AND. a million thanks to miss kerrin and the staskawicz fam for providing an amazing rest stop for my bum ass on this adventure. i can't thank you enough.

here is an amazing watercolor that my sister shelley made for me.

Two of the nicest Kiwis you'll ever meet:

...and some Danish guy.

"And life and time ambles, saunters and dances on!"

i used to live in here:
now i live in here:
it's been a while since i wrote anything on this here web log. i think that's due to a few things. partly because i haven't been sure if i wanted to write anything more, partly because i didn't know what to write, and partly because i wanted to think about it all a bit before i wrote anything.

i'm currently in berkeley, california, where i have taken residence in the wonderful Staskawicz household. before arriving in berkeley, i spent a few nights in los angeles with a very nice and welcoming friend of a friend, Lauren, then a few nights in los olivos with Hayley and Rob.

los angeles the city wasn't exactly my cup of tea but in hindsight, i did have quite a bit of fun for just a two-night stay, catching a lakers game, meeting some old and new friends for some korean bbq, a lunch with Drew and some gossiping with Lauren and her roommates.
los olivos was up my alley. it was a welcome relief to wake up to birds chirping and brisk, fresh air outside. the small town of los olivos has some incredible scenery that Hayley and Rob were very kind to show to and explore with me. it was just what i needed after the long flight and los angeles.
i made quick friends with Calvin, the resident young feline. days were spent exploring and playing on campus, nights spent eating great food with great friends.
an organized hitch-hike later and i arrived in berkeley. thanks Lauren!

so here i am. what's next? good question.

my poss-move-to-city-list is somewhat large and contains a number of towns in amazing places that i have great friends in. i might move to one of them, get a job, etc, etc. i've also been entertaining the idea of working at a lodge or ranch in an extremely-fishing-accessible location. i reckon i'd meet some cool people and be outside a lot. and fish a lot.

when i was a senior in high school, our class advisers gave a speech to the whole class. one part of their speech took use of a few stones, gravel, sand and a jar. we all watched as our advisers put all the sand they had in the jar and then the gravel and then the bigger stones. the stones obviously didn't fit. they emptied the jar and began filling again, this time with the stones first, followed by the gravel and then the sand. the message was this: in the "jar" of life, there are so many things you can do, passions you will have. fill your jar with your big stones, your loves, your passions, first. i'm not sure if i completely agree with the jar analogy and finite intersts/passions/people, etc., but i've thought about this lately.

i love being outdoors, being in and on the water and seeing new places, with great friends. this is what i really enjoy doing. these are the big stones in my life right now. why would i put myself in a location where it is difficult to get at these big stones? in other words, why not put myself in a location where it's very easy to get at these big stones, very often? hence the fishing lodge ideas.

but. there are always two (if not more) sides to coins, aren't there? who says my "jar" is only so big? why can't i find some other big stones sooner or later that i want to get get ahold of as well? why not try something completely new and different? experience new things. move to a new city, make some new friends, do some new activities, unearth some new stones.

is it ignorant or debilitating to say that i don't enjoy some things or i don't want to do some things? i've never really been a fan of suburbia, but here i am, i'm still happy. sometimes i think i don't want to move to a city because it would take a two- or three-hour drive to get to a trout stream. is that all that bad? who knows what sorts of things i'd find in that city. things i've possibly never heard of, never seen. if i follow a single passion for so long, will i miss other opportunities, possibly other passions? maybe.

but that's probably the half-glass-empty look at it i suppose, eh? of course whenever you decide to do something, you're not doing something else. take a right and you're not going left. i guess the most important thing is to do. whatever it is, do it. experiences aren't good or bad, they're experiences.

and as life and time ambles, saunters and dances on, you can do whatever you want! you can do whatever you want! you can do whatever you want! you can do whatever you want!

hmmm. so. we'll see what happens!

" "

the plane leaves in a few hours. can't think of much to say right now, but i did make a playlist with some songs by some people who did have something to say about it all.
"I'm lost in the ozone again."
"Well these two dollar shoes,
Lord, they hurt my feet.
But that fifty cent liquor,
it could not be beat.
And I see no reason, reason to be sad."
"Keep your eyes on the road,
your hand upon the wheel."
"Well there's no stronger wind than the one that blows down a lonesome railroad line.
No prettier sight than looking back on a town you left behind.
There's nothing that's as real as the love that's in my mind."
"Home is where I want to be,
but I guess I'm already there."
"I'm a thousand miles from nowhere.
Time don't matter to me.
'Cause I'm a thousand miles from nowhere,
and there's no place I want to be."

"I came here lookin' for something,
I couldn't find anywhere else.
Hey, I'm not trying to be nobody,
I just want a chance to be myself.
I've spent a thousand miles of thumbin',
yes, I've worn blisters on my heels."
"Pity not the weary traveler,
he lives in his mind.
He is friend of wind and weather,
and from fire is born."
"I met some people,
I traveled around.
But home's always the best place to go."
"Though the miles lay long behind you,
you have still got miles to go.
How's love ever gonna find you?
If it ain't here, it's down the road."
"It's been about three weeks now,
since I laid in a bed.
No rest for my soul I need,
a little soul rest for my head."
"I'm livin' on a highway
and nobody stops for me.
So I keep on going,
my head down, my thoughts are kept to me."
"The road is fucking hard,
the road is fucking tough.
There's no question that,
it is rough, rough stuff.
It's the fucking road my friend,
but it's the only road I know."
"The semis roll through like stainless steel stallions,
Going hard, going fast, going wild.
Rollin' hard, rollin' fast, rollin' by."
"No matter which way the wind blows,
it's always cold when you're alone.
Ain't no candle in the window,
you got to find your own way home.
The rain ain't gonna hurt ya,
it's come to wash away your blues.
It's all up to you."
"I fell down in the desert baby, yea,
I had nothing but a piece of paper.
I had to write something down,
And I found myself alone.
Then I let go of everything,
Into another dimension."
"Empower me,
With righteous motivation.
Conditionally,
To respect and self-control.
Show me love,
And how to give to others.
Teach me by the things you do,
And the words you say."
"I don't know where I'm going.
Won't you follow me?"
"Grandma loved a sailer,
who sailed the frozen seas.
Grandpa was that wailer,
and he took me on his knee.
He said, 'Son I'm going crazy,
from living on the land.
Got to find my ship-mates,
and walk on foreign sands."
"I'm tired to the bone.
My back's against the wall.
I've been on my own,
so long I can't recall."
"I woke up in another strange place,
by a forty acre parking lot with every kind of sign.
I was talking to another strange face,
who was telling me he didn't have the time.
All I want is behind that mountain,
all I need is the other way.
All I am is a lost soul searching,
all I have is today."

"One lonely Beastie I be.
All by myself without nobody.
The sun is beating down on my baseball hat.
The air is getting hot, the beer is getting flat."
"The road goes on forever,
and the party never ends."